


13.03 Little Angels

by Kirabaros



Series: The BAU Family One Shots- Season 13 [4]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Family, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 02:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16547183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirabaros/pseuds/Kirabaros
Summary: Simmons has some thoughts about their latest case in Detroit and has a chat with Michael on the way home. Tag to Blue Angel.





	13.03 Little Angels

****_A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be._  -- Frank A. Clark

It was late and the team had just wrapped up the case in Detroit. Merza had been arrested for the murder of three men and all of them had been clients of Kimberly Desmond. The twist in the case was that the unsub was the girl's biological father.

Matt Simmons sat back in his seat as he thought about that while they were flying back to DC. He thought about their unsub and why he did what he did. On some level Simmons could understand the guy. He wanted his daughter to turn out better than what she was doing. But that didn't excuse the fact that he murdered three men after castrating them and torturing them.

He had also been made uncomfortable by the girl and her comments about his relationship with his wife. Simmons loved his wife and kids. He loved the fact that he was home more often to see them and be able to be husband and father. He didn't feel trapped or anything like it. Still it was unnerving and his thoughts were running rampart and he couldn't really sleep on the trip back.

Looking around, Simmons noticed that most of the team was asleep except for a couple that were relaxing. His eyes flitted over them until he noticed Michael and he couldn't help but give a slight smile. He had gotten to know the man when he joined IRT and found him to be unassuming in a lot of things; he was always quiet and observing. When addressed or given a job to do, he did it and often surprised the team but providing a solution they hadn't thought of. They had become close friends, bonding mostly over the fact that they both knew tactics in the field and they were both fathers. It seemed time to have a conversation and Simmons stood up and slowly made his way over.

Michael was sitting in his seat in position to observe the entire plane. Simmons had no doubt that he could see him coming despite the fact that it was obvious Michael was concentrating on the book on his lap and he was wearing his sound cancelling headphones. Simmons remembered the first time he wore them on the plane in IRT. Jack Garrett thought he was a little crazy but they proved handy for Michael to concentrate when he put together their geographical profile. The team also thought that he had something bugged in them to help him hear what was going on but that was disproven when they saw they were just normal headphones and nothing special had been done to them. It had Simmons laugh when Alvez thought the same thing and was proven wrong.

Simmons approached and looked down at Michael and hi book. He recognized it as one of the first editions that he brought to read during downtime. And that was at the enforced normal pace rather than the speed reading he and Reid did when they were on a case. Michael had claimed that a field agent should have something outside of law enforcement to wind down so they didn't burn out. For him, if it wasn't playing piano it was reading or playing with his three-year-old daughter, Aurora. Simmons took the seat across from Michael.

"The doctor is real in."

Simmons chuckled at the reference to Charlie Brown. "I'm willing to wait if you need to finish a chapter."

"And you're implying that I have OCD, Simmons. Which I don't," Michael replied as he finished his page. He tucked in the old bookmark to keep his place and removed his headphones and hung them around his neck. "What's up, Matt?"

Simmons shrugged slightly as he looked at Michael. His friend had taken off his blazer and was was looking comfortable in the form fitting shirt, a carryover from IRT days. "Just... the case."

"Thinking about Merza and his twisted and yet understandable reasoning for murdering three men whom he believed was responsible for turning his daughter into a whore?"

Simmons opened his mouth to point out the technical difference of Kimberly's profession but decided against it. There were some things that Michael didn't bend on. He knew the PC term for it but that didn't mean that he agreed with it. He gave a slight nod and replied, "I can understand how he felt but..."

"He was a sadist, Matt," Michael replied as he adjusted his hands on his lap. "As much as we want to point out the reasoning and claim it is such... in the end he's still a murderer."

"But I get how he feels, Mike. He wanted his daughter to be something better than he was but ends up finding out that it didn't end that way when he was released from prison." Simmons sat back in his seat as he spoke in low tones so that the rest of the team didn't listen to the conversation. "I think it would be a hard blow."

Michael looked at Simmons and replied, "And I don't doubt that. You're a father. You want the boys and the twins to grow up into good people. You and your wife probably worry about whether or not they are learning how to be good people."

"And you don’t?"

It was meant as a joke but it came out a little harsher than Simmons intended. It didn't faze Michael since they had been through similar exchanges before. They thought about things differently but in the end, they agreed on a few things. Michael replied, "I worry all the time. I worry about whether or not I am being a good father because of the job that I do and the fact I occasionally remember the worst moments in my time over there. I am afraid that my daughter will become scared of me."

"Rory loves you."

"And nothing I more touching than the innocent love of a child," Michael replied, "But it is scary." He paused and swallowed slightly as he looked out the window of the plane. Once he found his thoughts he turned back to Simmons and continued, "I am scared of whether or not I am doing a good job. I believe Sarai is way better at the parenting thing than me Must be a mom thing."

"Could be a woman thing," Simmons joked.

Michael hummed a laugh, "Maybe. Anyway, I see where you're going with this line of thought. As a parent, we want what is best for our kids. We teach them right from wrong and what it means to suffer consequences but in the end..." He gave a slight half smile and sighed, "It's like how God is with us. We know His word so there is no excuse but we still have the choice to choose him. And we have to live with it."

"So, you are saying this was another God's will thing?"

"Just an example," Michael replied giving a slight wave of his hand. "Th point is that God is a parent too. I was trying to explain it in a manner that I understood."

"Don't worry about it. I think I got it," Simmons replied giving a wave of reassurance. "I guess we all we can do it what we can and in the end..."

"A better metaphor would be that the bird has to leave the nest."

Simmons and Michael shared a laugh at that. Simmons was the first to recover saying, "I guess there's plenty of reference for Reid."

Michael chuckled, "Spence is stubborn on a lot of things. When he met Gen, he kept her a secret from the team because he wanted to find his way through a relationship on his own. Same might be for the baby when it comes." He glanced at Reid to make sure he was still asleep and leaned forward so only Simmons could hear and joked, "But the first time he is on diaper duty..."

"He'll come running."

It was another round of shared laughs and Simmons felt the tension from earlier seemed to have died down. That was another thing talking to Michael Nassar. The man had a way of calming people even with simple conversation. Despite the fact that they could end up in an awkward moment like Reid did when he started rambling, the conversation always took to a resolved calm. Simmons figured it had to do with the man's presence, a thing that seemed rather strange considering the man had been a team leader in battle conditions and commanded men that could get an attitude and yet he always commanded their attention. Whatever the reason, it seemed to work.

Michael was humming to himself and looking down at the cover of his book before he asked, "So... are you still worried about the kids?"

"A little."

"Matt," Michael looked up and leaned forward. "Just... live."

Simmons frowned at that, "What do you mean?"

Michael paused a bit as if to think about how to phrase his answer. Simmons could tell that it was something important since he was always deliberate with his word choices. Finally, Michael said, "I know you're going to worry. You're a parent. It's what we do when it involves our kids. But we can't worry about too much of the what ifs. Statistically, no one person can predict more than a few seconds into the future."

"I think you're the exception, Mike," Simmons teased.

"Still," Michael replied after giving a slight smile, "The point is that if we worry too much about the what ifs, we forget to focus on the here and now. What is important now. For me, it's knowing that any second I can spend with Rory, it's the most important thing in the world. Maybe Sarai and I both had a hard lesson learned when we were in Afghan, but... we live each day thankful and to the fullest. You should do the same with your family. Treasure every moment."

Simmons studied Michael. A cynic would have asked what the hell did he know but Simmons was privy to the fact that Michael had learned hard lessons. Michael was right about what he was saying and Simmons loved the fact that he could spend more time home now that he was stateside. He had a more or less normal schedule and he loved every moment with his kids. He looked at Michael and asked, "Did you know about what Kimberly said to me?"

"I had a few guesses," Michael admitted. He knew that Simmons would want a better explanation and he added, "Her body language said it and she was trying to read you like we do our unsubs. But whatever it was she said, Matt, I know you will never betray your wife.

"You seem confident in that."

"Because I believe that you would act upon the word that has been embedded in all of us; your morality Matt." Michael straightened up to stretch slightly. "You're a good man and you have a good wife and I could tell that you are both crazy for each other. The proof being the ragamuffins and the twins." He grinned to show that he was teasing Simmons. "When we land, go home, hug your wife and tell her how you really feel. Then do the same for your kids and enjoy each moment."

"I suppose you're doing the same?"

"Are you kidding? I'm going to bed." Michael grinned as he said it. He then said, "Yeah. I'm going home to my wife who married me out of all people she knew. Show how much I love her and by then my little whirlwind in curls will come in and insist on joining us."

"Sounds like a plan," Simmons replied.

"Probably the most brilliant I'll ever have concerning the fairer sex. I'm considered a genius and I still can't figure out how women tick."

"I think that's a universal constant, Mike," Simmons replied with a pat to the man's shoulder. "One of those things we have to do trial by fire."

"But worth the journey with the right woman." Michael smiled before he sobered and said, "Just remember to cherish each moment, Matt. Time is cruel in that it can pass in the blink of an eye and proves that we don't have all the time in the world."

Simmons nodded and thought about it while Michael put his headphones back on to catch a few minutes of sleep. He felt better with their conversation having been said. Michael was right and it was a bit surprising on the level that he was newer in the parent gig but he seemed wiser in other things. Simmons knew his friend was right though in that he loved his wife and kids. He felt blessed to being in that position and no doubt Michael would have something to say like Scripture about it. Simmons got it. 

He felt better about it and was able to make it home early in the morning to find his wife still in bed. He took Michael's advice and let her know how much he loved her. He had barely enough time before he was bombarded with his kids bursting into the room. He figured that Michael was right in that he had to live in the moments with his kids even though he had to teach them how to be people. He would enjoy being with his little angels.

 _I have learned that raising children is the single most difficult thing in the world to do. It takes hard work, love, luck, and a lot of energy, and it is the most rewarding experience that you can ever have._  -- Janet Reno


End file.
